If you know, say so!
One of Alastair’s friends received messages from him explicitly sharing that he wanted to take his life, when, using which substances…at least three times…and said nothing to no one. HE KNEW about Alastair’s imminent plans to kill himself, BUT INSTEAD OF SEEKING HELP, HE REMAINED SILENT. And Alastair’s last cry for help went unheard. He could have been saved, but instead took his life in vain.
All of us have a natural instinct to help someone in trouble, and most countries have laws which punish those who don’t help, especially driving by a motor accident without stopping to aid the victims. Here we are not talking about someone with a broken arm or leg, but of someone with something broken inside who is asking for help, quietly, almost in a whisper, but with the hope that someone will stop them before it’s too late. Have the courage to take the crucial step. HELPING CAN SAVE LIVES!
We want to be proactive, encouraging all to pay attention to the state of mind and heart of the persons who are near to us, our friends, as well as those whom we see on social media. Here are some steps to undertake to avoid another pointless death and another future destroyed, because those who speak of suicide, subconsciously are asking for help to avoid it.
If you know the person:
- Someone is talking about suicide as a vague solution to their unhappiness? Try to understand if the thought is abstract or concrete. Ask them questions:
Are you thinking of hurting yourself? Have you thought of committing suicide? Have you thought of how to do it?
Be present, be kind, but don’t desist.
Stay close to them, talk to them, and insist in a gentle way that they speak with their family, loved ones, school counsellor, psychologist / psychiatrist, or another trusted adult. Check back to make sure that they did so.
- A person tells you they are buying some substance to finish things off? Speak to your family, another trusted adult, and work together to find the right way to embrace the person in trouble and find someone close to them who can help. Don’t remain silent.
- Do you see or read a message that someone can’t take it any more and is ready to take their life? Try to understand where they are and call the police / your national suicide hotline, and go to the person if they are reachable by any means necessary. The message they are sending by sharing these details is their last cry for help, don’t ignore it. If the situation is urgent, do not hesitate to call an emergency number!
If safely possible, aim to limit the access of the person to potentially lethal methods (pharmaceuticals, toxic substances, firearms, ropes, or other dangerous tools), looping in family members or professionals.
Continue to contact them even in days following an attempt. A simple message or phonecall can be incredibly important.
If you don’t know the person but see something suicide related on Instagram, TikTok or other social media:
- Write them right away and try to engage them in a conversation (see left), inform a trusted adult immediately.
- If you have an idea of where they are, call the police / suicide hotline in your country to provide the information
without losing a minute. - If you can write to all their followers, inform them that this person needs attention and caring company. If someone is nearby, or can contact them directly, do your best so that they do so.
Know that helping them in this way YOU ARE NOT BETRAYING THEIR TRUST, BUT SAVING THEIR LIVES. Our world has become too isolated and isolating and we hope that each and every person who reads this page will be the one who changes the world for the better by taking care of others. Ask for help immediately if you see, read, or hear someone contemplating suicide or preparing to end their own life. People who speak of suicide are communicating a pain that requires attentiona and support.
DO NOT stay silent or frozen. You do not need to be a mental health professional to properly help someone in crisis: listening, asking openly, and getting in touch with support and resources can make a world of difference. Always remember that talking about suicide and acting quickly can save a life. DON’T WAIT, ACT!
